A Lonely Little Cactus
by emptyswings
Summary: Just when Gaara and Death were about to get all chummy again, Kankuro has to go and disappear. Is it too much to ask for a guy to die with his legacy intact? Gaara turns helplessness into a learning experience.
1. Chicken Soup, Mom's a Bitch

Disclaimer: Naruto is very much... not mine.

**Chapter I:**

**Chicken Soup, Mom's a Bitch**

"Kankuro…"

"Kankuro…"

Temari stirred. She hadn't even realized she fell asleep until she felt the world fade into the warm color of the lamp light. Beside her, Gaara shifted restlessly, feverishly. Gently parting his bangs, she felt the heated skin of her younger brother's forehead. Her hand became slick; Gaara was sweating beneath the blankets.

Out of the bed and on came the bathroom light. Temari rinsed a towel with cold water before returning to the bedroom and wiping Gaara's neck and face. She sat on the soft mattress listening to him mumble.

"Shhh. Shhhhhh," Temari hushed, stroking her brother's damp red hair. She tossed the towel onto the night stand, crawled back into bed, and turned off the light.

"Kankuro, Kankuro," repeated Gaara, like a half-conscious mantra.

"Hushhh, he's not here right now," said Temari, placing a tired kiss on the back of his neck. "Kankuro's not here right now."

"Kankuro, Kankuro…"

* * *

The whole village was sick. After days of searching the medics finally found the hollow bamboo tubes tossed into each of the major underground wells of Sunagakure.

The wells were diseased and people were dying.

Immediately, Suna called for aid from their most reliable doctor who, unfortunately, wasn't even a citizen of their country. Konoha's Hokage, Tsunade, sent her assistant Shizune with a team of medical ninja to Suna to treat the ill. They examined each patient and compiled a list of ailments the villagers had in common. Most disturbing was the black bile that was coughed up by the infected when their lives were near their end. Two weeks later, one of the guests began to show symptoms of the virus and Gaara sent them home.

A month later, it was determined that everyone in the village was infected or immune. Trade seemed to halt at the border. The village didn't think it could get much worse.

Then the Kazekage, whose whole family was believed to be immune, collapsed suddenly over the tombstone of his mother's grave.

Now, even the rain clouds seemed to avoid the desert.

* * *

He never told anyone he was sick simply because he never considered telling anyone.

Never in his life had he felt so much pain – okay, maybe once or twice - and he was damn well going to savor it. It was his top secret hell and no one was going to know. The masochistic fairy floating above his head swung joyfully asphyxiated by its neck doing twirls upon a dangling noose.

In all sense, he was being quite irresponsible. Gaara knew this but he knew Temari was going to worry her pretty head even while there was nothing that could be done, except maybe taking him out of the country.

_Pfffftt!_ As if he was going to let that happen, although the council was sure to shit bricks if they every found out. _Hehehe._

And so Gaara continued to let himself pocket his tissues and wait it out, all the while doing his best in keeping the situation under control. It was not under control – but he was doing his best. He surprised even himself for lasting this long and was very well prepared for whatever he had in store. Dying before just had that effect, you know? Gaara was feeling like a prophet reaching out to shake hands with a shadow that finally decided to catch up.

That is, until he woke up the night after he collapsed to find his sister in tears.

"Stupid," she whimpered to her knees. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

Suddenly, dying didn't feel so good.

He tried to find that acceptance he had the night before. It wasn't working, not when there were people waiting for him to tell them what to do. Not when there were friends in far away places he wanted to see. Not when… the look of his siblings told him they weren't ready to let him go.

Gaara fumbled around in the dark for hours replaying the sad noises his sister made over and over in his head before reaching his well-drafted mental statement:

_Fuck it! Why now? _

What was he thinking this whole time? Being a fatalist was making him lazy, not to mention a selfish pig. Gaara, you ass.

It just wasn't fair though, that he woke up nearly paralyzed in pain just after he realized his village desperately needed him.

Something in him told him it was just bad karma. For all the people he killed for fun as a child, he knew he damn well deserved it. Another part of him, his inner whiny child, pleaded that this wasn't fair, this wasn't fair. He actually cried then; there wasn't much else he could do besides that.

"Not fair," Gaara said, his tears soaking into Kankuro's shoulder. They seemed to hug a lot now. The three siblings had even taken to sleeping next to each other for comfort. Since both Kankuro and Temari were immune to the disease, it didn't matter. It was the only way they could all sleep and not wake up crying in a very un-ninja-like position.

A few weeks later, Gaara could hardly lift his arm to reach for his chicken soup when Baki came in to announce the council had decided to call it quits. He wasn't trying to be mean. Baki was just the kind of guy that tells a dying man when he was going to be a dead man. Kankuro was yelling again and Baki was watching the dying Kazekage with a sort of gaze reflecting sadness and maybe respect. But Gaara didn't care.

He just wanted to have his damn chicken soup.

Now Gaara lay limply under his blankets watching the ceiling above him slowly fade into black and decided that his karma –and maybe his mom- was a real bitch.

* * *

A week later, Gaara woke up.

His sister was sleeping sideways next to him, her forehead touching the base of his neck. She held him tighter and his throat started to feel warm and damp. Everywhere on his body was damp... from the sweat.

"Temari?" He rasps. "Are you crying?"

She doesn't stir. Maybe it was just the sweat.

He weakly shook her body and her eyes fluttered a little before she pushed herself up staring at him like he was a ghost.

"G-Gaara... you're okay."

"How long was I out?"

"A week at least. Gaara, I was so worried. I thought you..." She couldn't finish her sentence. Because when your lip trembles like that it makes things kind of hard. Gaara hated seeing Temari cry simply because she almost never did. She was a strong woman who was supposed to make fun of boys that turned out to be wimps. Her brothers hated seeing her down, not to mention they hated how cranky she got when they witnessed her give into the sniffles.

She was on the verge of tears again. Gaara didn't want to deal with it so he changed the subject.

"Where's Kankuro?" he asked.

And then, Temari broke.

"I don't know! I don't know! He left, Gaara! He went nuts seeing you like this so he went out to find something; anything! He's a damn fool. Stupid, stupid, stupid!" And down she went, into a spiral of misery with lots of hurt to follow.

Gaara wanted to go back to sleep. It was all too much.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. _

_This story was meant to be very deep and emotional but I find writing Gaara's point of view for humor makes things a little more interesting._


	2. Hangman Can't Tie a Noose

_Typed this whole chapter in one day. The blood of a procrastinator runs in my veins._

* * *

**Chapter II:**

**Hangman Can't Tie a Noose**

"He packed his whole room didn't he? That Kankuro…"

"I wonder where he went."

"Probably somewhere far away, any place but here will do."

"He'll come back though, because if he doesn't we can both go out and kill him ourselves!"

"I can't, I'll be dead by then."

Temari slapped him.

"Don't talk that way Gaara. Don't you fucking do that ever."

Gaara recovered slightly and rubbed his stinging cheek. "You heartless bitch! You can't just hit a dying person!" he cried.

"You may be dying, but on top of that, you're being a crybaby. Just get over yourself and recover for hell's sake!" replied Temari.

And she was right too. Gaara had to admit he'd done little more than bitch and moan ever since he woke up to find Kankuro had disappeared. The confusion and abandonment he felt eventually subsided but now he wanted die and not-die at the same time, which was equally confusing.

It was ironic, really. All his life he wanted to know that someone out there truly needed him, but once this fact had been confirmed, he no longer had the capabilities to be there for them. He was much better off when he hid his illness from the public; so valiant, so independent, so _cool_. Then he lost his peace and resolve once he and everyone else wanted him to live. Realizing truth and love could have been the worst thing to happen to him (well, it came second to dying (you know, that first time (which was not that long ago before now (which totally sucked since his life-line said he'd live to be ninety)))).

But staying in bed all day had its perks. People would often come over to visit, bringing him soup or presents to cheer him up, a situation that would have seemed too bizarre less than a year ago. Gaara was pleased each time his granny from next door brought him her chunky chicken soup, but he was equally disappointed whenever Temari came upstairs with her own pulpy porridge.

Baki visited him as well, but for different reasons entirely. He liked to stand by his former student's bedside and belittle the poor lad for selfishly giving into his poor health like a woman before labor. This often made the energy return to Gaara's now frail body, enough so he could at least toss a cup at him and then Temari would follow up with a mean right hook in the defense of women against that crappy analogy.

"It's only a matter of time if we keep him here any longer," Baki announced one day suddenly.

How refreshing, grumbled Gaara internally while staring up at the ceiling, appearing to be in a daze.

"What do you mean?" asked Temari, returning with Gaara's pills.

"I mean that there may still be a chance for him to recover," said Baki.

"WHAT!" Temari shrieked, and in her surprise, she managed spill water over her equally stunned little brother.

"He won't agree to it, though," said Baki seriously.

"Wait, 'he won't agree?' What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded.

"I mean as the Kazekage, Gaara will never agree," he said catching the boy's eye before letting out a long sigh. "But as a member of this family he must."

"Why?" Gaara spoke for the first time.

Baki dropped the bomb: "Because you're going to have to abdicate and leave Suna."

The room became very quiet. Temari was staring wide-eyed at Baki while Baki continued staring at the frail young man lying in bed.

When Gaara finally spoke his voice was steady.

"Give up? After only four years of service? I think I'd rather die with my legacy intact here than run away and be remembered as the Kazekage who may have died twice."

Baki disregarded him and continued. "The Konoha representative who contracted the virus is apparently well enough to be back on duty as of last week. A few of our infected scouts were removed from the village and transferred to the border for recovery. It seems that the virus is taking advantage of this environment."

"How long does he have to be away?" asked Temari. "How long until he can come back?"

"Don't you see? He _can't_ come back. I don't think he can even stay in this country. The virus is active as long as he remains in the desert. The human body can't fight this kind of virus under this harsh weather."

"So either way, I'm dead to this village," whispered Gaara.

"Not necessarily. Once we find a cure, everyone can hopefully still return to Suna. It's just a matter of how long it takes. I think that's what Kankuro figured when he left to find out who planted the virus," said Baki, distantly.

"And Kankuro thinks he can find the cure? Why didn't he tell me anything?"

"There you go again. Moaning like a child."

"Well excuse me for being terminally ill."

"Shut up!" shouted Temari. "Kankuro's gone off and done something stupid. The most he'll do is get himself killed."

"We can't afford to send teams out and search for him. We're too short on man-power as it is," said Baki.

"Hey, I'm in charge here and I say we send teams out and search," said Gaara, tired of his opinion being ignored. He was the Kazekage for hell's sake!

"Impossible. We need all the help we can get here to recover," dismissed Baki, who was entirely too used to bossing the boy around. "Meanwhile all surviving victims fit to travel will be relocated from the village."

"Gaara can't travel! He's too weak! You can't just send a dying man across the desert, it's murder!" Temari protested.

"Well, does he sound like he's dying to you?"

"I'm not going anywhere," said Gaara, folding his arms and glaring.

"The only place you'll be going is the funeral home if you remain here and be an idiot," said Baki mirroring his expression, though not quite as intimidating.

"I refuse."

"Gaara, you're leaving tonight," Temari said resolutely.

_Why that – traitor!_ "What? Are you trying to drive me out, too?"

"Are you stupid? It's because I don't want you to die!"

…

"Well I don't want to die either!"

"That wasn't even a proper come-back!"

"I don't care!"

"Waaaaaaaaaahhh!" And then they hugged each other and cried.

Baki looked suitably embarrassed.

"Pack whatever you can bring," he said picking up and handing Gaara a picture frame from the bedside table. Gaara received it and stared at the picture ruefully. It was a photograph of him, fourteen years old on his inauguration day with Temari and Kankuro to his right and left.

When he looked up, Baki was smiling sadly above him. Gaara let the picture fall on his lap and addressed the councilman quietly like he would in his robes and in his office.

"Baki, inform the elders I'll meet them shortly."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama," bowed Baki before he swept out of the room.

They waited for his footsteps to disappear down the stairs, then Temari stood and opened Gaara's closet.

"I'll pack for you. Just tell me what you want to bring and I'll have the rest sent over wherever you want to go," she said pulling out and folding three sets of clothes.

"Okay," he said.

"And I'll be your escort there no matter what."

"Okay."

She took the picture frame and put it on the top of the pile. "So where is it you plan to go?"

Gaara considered.

"...Konoha."

* * *

_A/N: Ah, I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Gaara doesn't normally think with that many brackets and parentheses, I just thought it would be funny. On a side note, I hate it when people add in "Italics equals thoughts, **Bold **equals bullshit, and "..." equals yammering at the beginning of every chapter. _


	3. A Sticky Situation

**Chapter III:**

**A Sticky Situation**

Temari dropped her pack.

"Gaara," she called sternly, but Gaara didn't want to hear it.

"Keep moving," he said, leaving no room for argument.

"You can't push yourself so hard. You need to rest," she argued anyway.

Gaara peered up at the orange sunset.

_Oh, omnipotent powers… where have you gone? Daddy needs you!_

"I think we should make camp here," she suggested rather forcefully.

_IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou!! Uuuuuurrrrgghhhh!!!_

Gaara sniffed haughtily then made an exaggerated display of shouldering his pack as he continued to move forward. To his displeasure, it didn't have the same effect it usually had because one, it was just a bag – not a gourd - and two, the bag his _sister_ was carrying was three times as big as his.

Temari merely rolled her eyes at him. Gaara felt the last remnants of his manhood dwindle.

By nightfall, they reached the middle of River Country. That may sound impressive to considering Gaara's condition a few days prior to their departure, but that was maybe about a week ago. They were five days into their slow journey into Konoha and they only just reached the halfway point. My god, this was taking forever.

It felt stupid walking through the desert with an umbrella over his head. Sure, it blocked out the sun and kept him from dying prematurely of heatstroke, but Gaara felt unusually self-conscious as a sick person and it made him look like an idiot.

"Catch any drops out here, son?" mocked a passing scout as they were leaving the front gates of Sunagakure.

Thank god for these disguises, or Gaara would have less to worry about heatstroke and more about his increasing interest in committing suicide. He thought about all the things he might have liked to say or _do_ to the scout if he didn't have to keep his own departure under wraps.

Wraps… With all the cloth and bandages hiding his face, he must have resembled a walking mummy.

…

_Heh. Or Baki's mother! _

Gaara made sure he'd try that one as soon has he got ba-

He stopped to stare at his toes in contemplation. Oh.

"-ack."

"You say something, Gaara?" asked Temari. To her credit, she had already built a fire and was now pulling out their bedrolls.

Gaara plopped down on one of the bedrolls before she was even done unfurling it.

Temari frowned, her hands still grasping the corners. "Can't you wait until I'm done?"

Gaara lay down.

"Urgh. Could you be anymore like a baby?"

_Should I suck my thumb?_ Gaara examined the dust underneath his right thumb and deemed it unsuckable. How about his left?

Temari threw her hands up in the air.

"Fine, whatever. But I'll have you know that I'd even take the old Gaara over the whiney little pussy this disease has turned you into," she declared as she prepared her own bedroll perpendicular to his.

_Aaah, me too, me too_, thought Gaara dreamily while struggling to hold back the sudden painful itch in the back of his throat.

As soon as Gaara started coughing, Temari dropped down beside him, holding him steady by his shoulders. He was mostly coughing into his tan-colored scarf, his hand clasped over his mouth to keep the black blood from running into his other clothes.

And Temari just held him there, her overwhelming sadness written in her eyes and all over her face.

"I take it back," she said. "I take it back. I don't prefer the old you over you right now."

When Temari felt his body settle, his chest no longer rattling, her hands came around his chest as she hugged him from behind.

"I just want both of my brothers to be okay. I want you to stay with me," she pleaded.

* * *

Gaara woke up in the middle of the night.

_It's hot._

Sitting up, he threw off the wool blanket to cool off in the night air. His neck and face were plastered with sweat thanks to the bandages and cloth wrapped around his face, but Baki has strictly forbidden him from removing them until he was safe in Konoha. Grumbling, he removed his scarf and pulled at the chain hang around his neck.

It was Kankuro's necklace, the familiar red and yellow circle of his shirt now dangled as a stone pendant around Gaara's neck. Gaara remembered seeing Kankuro making it. He also remembered calling it tacky so Kankuro never wore it. It didn't make sense to him since most of Kankuro's things were quite tacky or macabre anyway, but perhaps Kankuro really did value his opinion.

Gaara unclasped the chain the polished the stone with his shirt. He was about to put it back on but decided against it and put it in his pocket instead. It was just going to get dirty again and it was starting to chafe his neck.

Temari stirred in her sleep. She was propped against a tree, her head hanging uncomfortably low near her chest.

Gaara got up slowly and crawled over to his sister. Bending down, he turned her head to the side so that her head rested against her iron fan. Temari hadn't slept well in weeks and her neck was going to hurt tomorrow if her head hung that way overnight.

Turning away, he walked over to his pack to retrieve his canteen. The night air was cool, but Gaara's skin felt hot and sweaty. He took a few large gulps from his canteen and dumped the rest over his head. There wasn't much left anyway. He grabbed Temari's canteen and made his way down to a nearby stream.

It was probably a bad idea to go out by himself in his condition, but he couldn't remember the last time he was able to wander off on his own. Although he knew she had good intentions, Gaara couldn't help but feel suffocated under his sister's fastidious care.

Whatever, it was fine. He always kept a kunai in his pocket and he'd been practicing his taijutsu whenever he could. As long as he kept his face covered, no one would think to attack a passing civilian. Hopefully.

Further down the stream, Gaara climbed down the rocky debris and found a good rock to perch on by the stream. He washed his hands in the cold water and took his time refilling the canteens. Feeling awfully sticky, he pulled off his headdress and dunked it into the stream, wringing water into his dark red hair. He hadn't removed the bandages around his face, but knowing that his signature hair color might give him away, he quickly pulled the cloth over his head. Temari might question him later about his wet hair later, but he was willing to put up with that – and the migraines that were sure to come – if it meant he didn't have to smell his sweaty hair the entire trip.

Picking up his canteens, Gaara turned to leave when he heard footsteps above him. Ducking behind a curtain of undergrowth, Gaara used his well-honed stealth to hide his presence. He remained absolutely still as he heard the footsteps right above him. Gaara guessed there were about four of them; two in front, one in the back…

And one standing right above him.

"Why'd you stop, Sasuke?" asked one of them.

Gaara lost his breath.

_Ah, motherfucker!

* * *

_

_A/N: I took a year off to see what was going on with the manga. As it turns out, it totally threw me off my original plan, but I've decided to stick with it and not make any changes. Until next time!  
_


	4. A Newly Discovered Talent

**Chapter IV: **

**A Newly Discovered Talent**

"Why'd you stop, Sasuke?"

Gaara tried not to panic – _tried_ being the key word since it appeared he was already doing a great job of doing what he was _trying_ very hard not to do. He crammed his knuckles against his teeth to quiet down his breathing. Above him, he could feel Sasuke scanning the area like a hawk, looking for any sign of movement.

To his credit, Gaara was quite sneaky himself. If he recalled correctly, on their first meeting, he was able to get behind Sasuke and give him a scare - but that was when they were both kids. Neither of them had seen each other in a couple years, it may have been a lot harder to slip by him this time around.

A heavy pause. Then a scraping sound on the gravel as Sasuke pivoted away from the stream.

"I just had a feeling," mumbled Sasuke.

"It's getting late, let's make camp already!" said a female voice.

Gaara didn't allow himself to breathe a sigh of relief, so he did it mentally instead.

"You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up with you later," said Sasuke.

Gaara didn't allow himself to breathe a sigh of frustration, so he did _that_ mentally as well.

"…Suit yourself," said the man who spoke first as they retreated.

Sasuke waited until his companions were gone (Gaara waited with him since he had no choice) before he hopped down to the rocky stream, landing in the area Gaara had occupied just moments before. He tossed a suspicious look in all directions. Maybe it just _looked_ suspicious since Gaara knew he was acting paranoid himself. For all he knew, Sasuke probably never even noticed him hiding there just ten feet away.

It felt like forever before Sasuke started undressing – wait, hold on, WHAT? Gaara watched with vague horror as Sasuke slipped out of one sleeve and worked out of the other.

As it turned out, Sasuke _didn't_ notice Gaara hiding in the stream and wasn't down here trying to kill him. This was good. On the other hand, Sasuke came here to take a bath, which made escape a lot more difficult. This was bad, not to mention a little awkward. Fate always did have a way of putting him in awkward situations.

Gaara reached into his pocket for his kunai. All Sasuke had to do was turn around and look carefully among the rocks since the undergrowth didn't exactly cover him from the waist down. If that did happen, Gaara would have to rely on his not-so-great close combat skills to get him out alive. He spied the long knife wedged in the rocks beside Sasuke's folded shirt.

Better safe than sorry. Gaara pulled the kunai from his pocket.

_**Plunk!**_

_Oops._

It took just two seconds for Gaara to stuff the kunai back into his pocket, then hold his hands up in time to meet the blade held a hair's breathe from his throat.

Through the openings of his mask, Gaara beheld the eyes of the last remaining member of the Uchiha Clan. By all accounts, it was a frightful experience but Gaara had seen and remembered these eyes at their worst and was quite thankful to see that Sasuke appeared to have become more docile over the years.

This wasn't going to be an execution, rather, an interrogation. A little like he planned when he decided the better course of action was surrendering. His fighting skills were much too patchy after two months of being terminally ill.

Sasuke's glowing red eyes studied him coolly.

"A shinobi from Suna? Either you're very good at being sneaky or you're chakra's so weak even I have trouble sensing you," said Sasuke, putting more pressure on the blade, drawing blood.

"Uuuuh… probably both?" replied Gaara. Really, it was better to act like the imbecile his siblings sometimes accused him of being rather than the soft-spoken, arrogant Gaara everyone else knew. It was also probably a good thing that Sasuke cut him since he was counting on Sasuke remembering his sand armor.

Sasuke peered at him a little closer.

"You've got the same eyes as someone I know. If you didn't act like such an idiot, I'd think you were Gaara in disguise."

Gaara carefully fumbled, "Oh – what, you mean _these_? It's just make-up. Everyone wants to be like Kazekage-sama. Raccoon eyes are very fashionable nowadays. Haha…"

Gaara wanted to pat himself on the back for how out of character he was being at the moment.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"What were you doing, spying on me like that?"

"Getting some water."

"Liar."

"No, look! I brought my canteens and everything."

He pointed at the rocks under him. His canteens sat not too far from their feet.

Sasuke didn't appear to be convinced. Gaara never had to lie much in his life, so he couldn't tell if he was good at it. Honesty was always the best policy…

"I was getting water when I heard you coming. I'm not really strong so hiding seemed a lot better than taking on you and your group," explained Gaara as casually as possible. "Kiiinda hoped you guys would all just leave, but who knew I'd get cornered by _the_ Uchiha Sasuke while he was trying to take a bath?"

"You know me?"

"Everyone knows you. You're practically on every country's bingo book. The five kages have been trading them like baseball cards at the summits, you know."

This was not actually true, but Gaara needed a reason for knowing Sasuke's identity without ever seeing his picture. Uchiha Sasuke was never registered as a wanted felon in Suna. Guess he did make a good liar.

"So could you, uh, let me go? I won't tell anyone. And I kind of dropped something in the river."

"What?"

"A necklace. My brother's necklace. It fell out of my pocket."

Sasuke paused to consider this and Gaara took the time to study his naked throat.

There. He was wearing it. Uchiha Itachi's ruby necklace hung around Sasuke's neck. A priceless treasure to thieves, a sentimental treasure to family. Gaara had seen him wearing it in a photograph taken a couple years ago. It was used as a passport photo on a visit to Suna. Gaara had stamped the passport himself and remembered exchanging a meaningful look with its owner before parting ways.

Well, that was before Sasuke disappeared from Konoha again. No one had seen him since, but he was lucky he'd noticed Itachi's necklace.

Gaara wondered if he was pulling any heartstrings.

"I need to find it before it gets washed away. It's the only thing I've got left of him," he finished deliberately.

This was also not true. He had a drawer full of Kankuro's tacky hand-made jewelry, but apparently fighting (or conversing) for his survival had made him a compulsive liar.

Sasuke stared at him impassively for a few moments then let him go.

It worked.

"You tell anyone you saw me and you _will_ die," he threatened before sheathing his blade.

"Uh, yeah! I promise – cross my heart!" said Gaara, relieved.

Remembering that he was supposed to be desperately scouring the river, Gaara immediately knelt in the water and started splashing around for the necklace. Finding it would probably guarantee his escape. If he could show Sasuke he wasn't lying about the necklace, Sasuke would probably decide not to follow him back to camp. It would have been bad if he saw Temari.

Too bad it was so dark. Gaara couldn't see a thing. Not only that, the water was so cold, even if his hands did brush over the necklace, he couldn't tell what the hell he was feeling anyway.

There was a splash not three feet away from him. Gaara looked up to find Sasuke kneeling in the water next to him.

"What are you doing?" asked Gaara.

Sasuke continued to turn over rocks.

"The sooner we find your necklace, the sooner you leave," he replied curtly.

"Oh."

They didn't talk much for another twenty minutes or so other than the occasional, "You find anything yet?" or maybe, "No, that's not it, that's a shoelace," once or twice something like, "Ow! I think a fish bit me!" But the most frequent thoughts running through both of their heads ran along the lines of: _Why the fuck is this taking so long??_

Defeated, Gaara stood up. He was soaking wet and had a runny nose. This was just a waste of time.

"Forget it. It's gone. Thanks for your help anyway," sighed Gaara. "I'll leave you alone, I guess."

Sasuke nodded and turned to face the stream. He waited for Gaara to disappear into the woods before he pulled out the silver chain in his pocket, twirling it lazily on his finger.

The heavy pendant caught the moonlight. Sasuke let the heavy pendant fall into his hand.

It was a round shape made of two half-circles, one red, one gold.

_Hmmmm…

* * *

_

_A/N: Wow, all in one scene. Happy New Year guys! Thanks for the reviews!  
_


	5. Deja vu

**Chapter V:**

**Deja vu **

It was half-past noon before Temari finally managed to dig her brother out from his sleeping bag and Gaara awoke to a coughing fit.

After his run-in Sasuke, Gaara crept cautiously back into the campsite only to find Temari snoring gently where he'd left her. He was still sopping wet and had to sit by the fire for quite a while so that she wouldn't notice his water-logged pants when she checked on him in the morning. This was probably the reason he now suffered a bad cold, but at least she had no idea what he'd been up to.

Should he tell her? Should he tell Naruto? Should he tell anyone that he'd seen Sasuke? By all accounts, he was a danger to all the ruling nations and to let him remain hiding between Sunagakure and Konoha could be considered as a betrayal to both countries if anyone was to find out.

Then again, Gaara _had_ promised that he wouldn't tell. And what would it matter? Sasuke seemed docile enough and even helped a stranger without any real personal gain. Granted, it had been Gaara in disguise, but Sasuke had no idea – he could have secured his hiding place just by murdering him.

It would have been so easy.

Gaara remembered their last meeting two years ago. Tsunade came to Suna, along with a number of Leaf genin, for the chunnin exams held in Suna of that year.

Sasuke and Naruto were the only remaining shinobi of their year that were still genin (on paper) and they both were guaranteed to pass with flying colors. There was an amazing turnout for that event, perhaps three times the usual number of people that showed up to watch the chunnin exams. Gaara recalled the trouble the village had to go through to accommodate that many visitors.

Everyone came to see the world famous shinobi of the Fourth Ninja War perform and Sunagakure made quite a lot of money that year.

But having such a world famous outlaw enter his village came with no small addition to security. Sasuke had been escorted by the Hokage herself and the guards at the front gates of Suna came up with some ridiculous idea of putting him in chains and parading him around the village on their way to the Kazekage's office. It was reported later that Sasuke complied without so much as a frown.

Gaara hadn't been at the compound at the time. He was at home writing letters to various lords when he was informed of the Hokage's arrival. Hurrying to his office, he was confronted by a very furious Naruto who demanded to know why Sasuke had been treated in such a humiliating manner. Of course, Gaara had no idea what Naruto was talking about until he came across the entourage of idiot guards waiting with a seething Tsunade and an otherwise nonchalant Uchiha Sasuke with his hands tied behind his back.

Before Tsunade even had the chance to utter a rebuke, Gaara the Kazekage waved her aside and calmly asked for the keys from his guards. He unlocked the chains holding Sasuke then Gaara the Bully pulled each of the guards' feet from under them, letting them fall flat on their faces.

Gaara gestured for his two stunned guests to enter his office. "Have a seat inside while I go make us some coffee," he said politely.

It was here that Gaara remembered accepting Sasuke's passport. He spoke briefly with Tsunade about the terms of his participation in the exams then stamped the passport with the Kazekage's seal.

They exchanged a look as Gaara handed it back to him. Sasuke's eyes appeared tired but focused as he stared down at the Kazekage's sitting form. A brief silence stood within the room as they both must have reflected upon the struggles each experienced because of each other up to that point.

_Gaara targeting Sasuke before the tournament. Gaara mocking Sasuke in the forest._

_Sasuke making Gaara bleed. Sasuke running to Orochimaru. Sasuke rejecting Gaara's words of redemption._

_Sasuke attacking Naruto._

It was only a few seconds and then the spell broke. Gaara let go of the passport and nodded at him.

"Good luck on your exam, Sasuke."

* * *

They hadn't traveled long before Team Gai surprised them at the edge of River Country. The big green form of Might Guy greeted them with as much enthusiasm Gaara was sure he could take and his only comfort was the sight of Tenten and Neji sulking self-consciously a small distance away, letting him confirm the existence of normal people who would rather not be associated with such a display.

Rock Lee certainly didn't help things. Gaara hadn't seen him in a couple years, but that didn't discourage the boy's bowl-cut from tossing itself near his face as Lee smiled that ridiculous smile of his.

"Nice to see you again, Gaara-kun!" - _Gaara-kun,_ why is it always _Gaara-kun_ with these people?

He was given the thumbs up, perhaps as some sort of warning, before he felt himself being swept from his feet and somehow being replaced in the piggy-back position against Lee's back.

Oh… my God.

By sunset, Gaara finally allowed himself to peer cautiously over Lee's shiny head to drink in the sight of Konoha's big double doors. Throughout the entire journey, Lee had repeatedly called over his shoulder to ask questions like:

"How are you doing?"

"Do you need to take a break?"

"Are you comfortable back there?"

_Yes. Yes, I just love the feeling of my crotch getting mashed against the edge of a kunai holster. Not only that, my hands are getting covered in sweat and something tells me it's not mine._

Lee carried him all the way to the entrance before Gaara began to signal he wanted off. He had a hard time wiggling his legs from Lee's tightly locked arms, but Gaara was adamant about keeping the remaining shreds of his dignity intact by walking through the gates on his own two feet.

Many of the others felt differently, of course. As soon as Gaara's feet touched the ground, his knees began to wobble.

"He looks half dead," observed Tenten, an expert on stating the obvious.

Lee took one of Gaara's thinning wrists and looped his arm around his neck, a gesture Gaara would have normally appreciated if he wasn't so fixated on the beads of sweat that were soaking his sleeve. Perhaps he was just too tired to be thankful.

A brief visit to the clinic and then a meeting with the Hokage. Gaara obediently sat across from Tsunade as she berated him for his careless behavior toward his own well being.

"It's not just your physical health we all should be worrying about. Are you mental? You're mental. I'm fully persuaded that you've gone absolutely insane. What the _hell_ were you thinking hiding your condition from everybody, huh? How can you hope to protect your village when you can't even stand on your own too feet?" roared Tsunade, her voice accompanied by the loud slamming of her fist on her cluttered and battered desk.

The sight of the Hokage lecturing Suna's infamously testy Kazekage like a four year old put many on edge, but throughout what Gaara assumed was a verbal spanking, Temari appeared entirely uninterested in stepping in to defend her leader's honor.

Hmm… make that _former_ leader's honor. Perhaps this was what spurred Tsunade into thinking she had any right to tell him what to do. It didn't help that Temari was silently agreeing to everything the Hokage had to say.

"The damage is done. At the very least, it would have been better to die watching over Suna from its enemies while defenses are obviously weak than to give the village another reason to worry," replied Gaara, tersely.

"You're lucky we found a way to treat this early. Any longer, I'm sure the damage would be irreparable and I'd be sitting across from the sixth Kazekage arranging your funeral."

"As of now, we have not formally announced my abdication. Like I said before, there's no need in letting our enemies know about our situation. If the rest of the world believes that Gaara of the Desert is still in office, I expect the problems we may face in the near future will be kept at bay for a little while longer."

"What about appearances? Won't people on the outside expect to see you out in public?"

"I'm already insane, as you've so generously established earlier, and I'm known to be a social recluse. My absence from the public eye won't be that unusual. I'll have my shinobi impersonate me when it is necessary to do so."

Gaara was growing tired of the Hokage questioning him. Granted, he held Tsunade in the highest of respect and, on a number of occasions, horrified the elders by agreeing with her over international disputes when he was rightly expected to follow the opinion of Sunagakure's all-too backward, ritual council. But there were times Tsunade could become frustratingly stubborn, merely because she held the power of seniority. She constantly reminded him that he was too young to fully understand the world – he was having his youth thrown rudely in his face.

The meeting came to a relatively civil end. When they weren't discussing politics and moved on to the subject of his health, Tsunade had been equally stern, but Gaara knew that she was being generous with her concern.

"I've prepared a room for you in the hospital. It's on the second floor in the west corner where it's a little quieter. However, due to all the patients recovering from your village, you'll have to share with somebody else so we could fit everyone in."

"I understand."

"Now Gaara, I need to remind you to take proper care of yourself while you're here. The worst is yet to come and I need you to comply to everything my assistants require for your treatment. From now on, your life is Konoha's responsibility and I trust that you'll respect the terms we've arranged in aiding your recovery."

"I understand," Gaara replied again. "Suna is eternally grateful for your aid and generosity and I won't forget what you're doing for my people."

His manners appeared to please her. "I'm glad," she said, smiling. "Please get some rest, you've had a long journey. I'll send Sakura over to examine you after you've gotten settled."

Gaara nodded and stood, giving her a deep bow, an act that would have had his council members shit bricks. Bridges would have collapsed in Suna if they saw their infamous and almighty leader performing an act of modesty, though Gaara believed that in many other customs, bowing was merely an act of common courtesy.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow and her smile widened by a small margin.

"There's no need. As allies, it's natural for one village to help the other. This generation is responsible for making friendships – real friendships between countries that go beyond alliances on paper. It will take quite a while for you to recover, so please, make yourself comfortable here. This will be your home."

Gaara's face turned up to meet the Hokage's. He was not wearing his robe of office, but his eyes held the same earnestness and strength that made him the leader Suna respected and adored.

It was the same as the first time she met him, in this very office, across from this very desk. A boy of twelve with ruffled red hair, a gourd on his back, and a grim air felt around only seasoned veterans, Gaara was capable of surprising Tsunade from the start. She had heard rumors of Suna's powerful, but crazed jinchuuriki and the damage he'd done during that year's chuunin exam.

Tsunade fully expected to meet something monstrous. What she found instead was something adorable.

_She could see the boy hesitate behind those pale green eyes. His two siblings stood on either side behind him, watching him with confusion as Gaara stepped forward._

_Slowly, Gaara lowered his head until all Tsunade could see was a crown of red hair. Judging by his sibling's reactions, Tsunade knew that Gaara never bowed to anyone in his life._

_His voice was quiet, but clear._

"_Hokage. I'm here not only on behalf of the debt owed by my village to Konoha, but also for a personal debt I owe to Uzumaki Naruto. Please accept our sincerest apologies as well as our aid in Uchiha Sasuke's retrieval."_

"He could be a real brat sometimes, but I've always liked that one," said Tsunade to Shizune when the Sand shinobi left the office. "He's got a certain way about him that's different from anyone his age."

"How so, Tsunade-sama?"

"Some of us go through life not knowing what to do with ourselves until we die. Gaara seems to see the right things and make them happen. I'm sorry to see him in such poor health. The boy's suffered too much."

"Many people are suffering, Tsunade-sama."

"Yes, and Gaara sees that. That's why he doesn't want to think about his own suffering while all of this is going on. He's got a big heart, but he's left no room in it for himself."

* * *

Gaara and Temari checked into the hospital and were immediately rushed into emergency care. A medic came out pushing a wheel chair. Gaara fought him off with a terrible glare.

A nurse greeted them as they approached the elevator and led Gaara away to the shower rooms while another took his things and led Temari into the waiting room. Half an hour later, Gaara felt warm and clean dressed in thin cotton pants and a polka-dot hospital gown. The only setback was the cloth mask covering the lower half of his face to muffle his coughs. They itched behind his ears.

"If you are feeling well enough, please go ahead and wait in your room," said the nurse. "Do you know how to get there by yourself?"

Gaara nodded behind his mask.

"Oh, good! I'm sorry, but I have a lot of other patients to see."

The nurse smiled and bowed apologetically before hurrying off. Gaara watched her leave then made his way back to the elevator. During his youth, Gaara and his siblings made many trips to Konoha, sometimes spending months at a time in the village for different assignments, be it infiltrating the chuunin exams or tutoring groups of Leaf genin in the summer when Suna simply became too hot.

It was only natural that Gaara became familiar enough to navigate Konoha with little problems, the hospital in particular. After all, he had had to find a way to creep around the hospital in order to smother Lee in this sleep after the preliminaries. Those were fond memories.

Ironically, the room he was assigned was the same one Lee had been using when Gaara tried to finish him off. Perhaps it was finally he who would die in this room instead. It was inappropriate, but the irony of his circumstances tickled him to no end.

Temari was waiting for him in the hallway. She looked a bit rattled.

"I've unpacked your things. Someone's sleeping behind the partition, so keep it quiet. You've got the window bed," said Temari.

"Okay. Is Sakura coming?" asked Gaara as he padded toward the door.

"She just left. She needed to get a new thermometer."

Gaara entered the room, leaving the door open. His eyes scanned the hospital quarters, noticing the huddled figure sleeping in the bed darkened by the shade of the partition.

Turning around, Gaara was surprised that Temari had not followed him in.

"I'll be back in a few," said Temari, hurriedly. "I need to ask Sakura something."

"Alright then. I'll wait for you here," said Gaara, nodding. He sat on the bed and watched her go.

Temari was hiding something, but she was also tired. There was no need to press her for information at the moment. He surveyed the room once more.

To his left, Gaara found a tiny dresser stacked with his belongings. The picture of his family from his room back home was placed facing the starched pillow on his bed. He leaned over and opened the drawer and found his clothes folded neatly inside. Check.

The drawer slid with a bang, louder than expected. Behind the partition, Gaara's roommate stirred awake.

_Whoops._

"Sorry," he whispered to the other side. The patient made no verbal response, but Gaara could hear whoever it was getting up into a sitting position. Curious to see who it was, Gaara pulled the curtain back to greet his new roommate.

For a moment, Gaara felt his heart stop.

_Hands trembling in anxiety and anticipation, a six year old Gaara held the bag of ointment out in front of him, the paper crumbling in his nervous hands._

"_S-sorry about earlier," he said, his voice soft and friendly. "I brought you some medicine."_

_The door was opened by just a sliver, but Gaara could see the girl's bandaged face twist into a scowl._

A faint pause of shock skipped over the woman's face as her mind processed the identity of the young man in front of her. Then she opened her mouth and her hateful eyes bore into his soul.

"Go away, you monster."

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait. And to answer a reader's question, this is not supposed to be an entirely romance genre fic so don't worry about it being just another yaoi fic if they make you uncomfortable. I can't reveal too much but I'll give a small explanation about my intentions regarding this story. Gaara's grown up a lot since we first saw him in the show, but there's always room for him to grow. As far as I know, he's a thoughtful and mature kid and he's quite sensitive to others despite coming off as quiet, cool, and occasionally insolent. _

_Being Kazekage, he doesn't have time to connect with people his age on a personal level - there's a noticeable awkwardness between Naruto and Gaara even as they try to reach out to one another. In this story, Gaara's trip to Konoha will allow him to understand his peers at a deeper level, but it's mostly Gaara that has to put in the effort since everyone else is settled in long-term friendships. But as we have seen, he seems very capable at accomplishing things he sets his mind to. One of his goals in this story is accomplishing the simple yet difficult task of becoming a good friend to Naruto. Although Naruto doesn't seem to understand the gravity of his actions and the effect they had on Gaara's life, Gaara will use this as a reminder to take on everything that is thrown at him to repay his debt to Naruto. Ironically, I've made Naruto a side character to show that Naruto doesn't have to be around all the time to be a big part of Gaara's life._


End file.
